A dear friend passed away recently. That's an interesting expression. 'Passed Away'. She went away. She passed. Anyway, I suppose I should start getting used to it at my age. She was only 60, though. Cancer. She died at home with her family present. She had gone into a coma a few days before. She was one of the dearest people on earth. Her brother was a former lover. Benjamin, if you've read the story of our affair. He loved his sister dearly and they were very close. She had a gay son and Benjamin has been there for him through all his trials of coming out to his family, etc. He even hired him to work for him.
When someone passes I feel this incredible urge to connect with loved ones. When tragedies occur I feel the same urge; natural disasters, 9/11. I called Benjamin and we talked for a long time while he was roaming the aisles of Whole Foods in New York City. I called my sister and an old friend who knew Ben's sister too. Where does that need come from and why don't I feel compelled to connect more often. Why does it take the death of an old friend to make me realize I'm not an island?
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4 comments:
I'm sorry for your loss. Dying, death, dead, are all harsh words, full of loss, pain and permanence. Passing is gentler, passing along, passing by, passing away. There seems to be a future with passing, a tomorrow. Your friendship is your future with your friend. Your memories, not only just the bit you shared with us, but all of them will keep her with you. Peace.
StevyD,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It never gets easier losing a loved one.
MM
The finality of death makes you want to reach out to those still living and connected in some way.
That's a good thing, but as you imply you should reach out more often.
My mother passed away very young, long before there were such things as cell phones or free long distance calls.
One of my aunts became a second mother to me. We would talk for hours on the phone. She passed away a while back. I still have the urge to pick up the phone and call her. It seems she should still be there to answer.
I have this vision of her talking with my Mom in heaven and bringing her up to date on the last 40 plus years of my life that my Mom missed.
I'm sorry for your loss. It is such a hard thing to bear.
Jack Scott
Jack,
thank you for sharing. It always helps to know we are not alone in our grief and our joy.
MM
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